Lately, I have been praying for direction. That’s not a surprise.
For years, B and I felt so strongly about adoption that we prayed for God to make it clear whether we should have biological kids. We feel that He made it clear.
But, for those who have researched adoption, you know that we are just at the beginning of a new mountain. Where do we adopt from? I know, I know, plenty of people have told us, “You know, there are plenty of kids right here in the United States of America that need a good home.” Right, clearly, my husband who had 20 foster siblings knows this. We know this. But, we are prayerfully considering where to adopt from–domestic and international. There are millions of kids, in fact 153 million, who need a good home both domestic and abroad. That weighs heavily on us. When people tell us, “You know, there are kids here that need a good home,” I want to ask, “Why is it up to the infertile couple to solve this problem?” Because it’s not. It takes all of us — the infertile and the very fertile.
Now off my soapbox.
Lately, we’ve been pleading to God to show us where. And so far, nothing.
Some of you might be thinking, “Oh M, how naive.” But in the big stuff in my life, God has worked this way. My doctorate, my dissertation, even how I met B, the stories behind this are amazing, too amazing. I am so dumb, so blind, so distracted that when the Lord answers, he has to answer loudly. He has to yell at me and say, “M, hello, M, right here.”
Yesterday, I was rushing to a meeting and I was multitasking! While walking across campus to the meeting, I was checking my work email and replying to urgent matters. Suddenly, I looked up and I was headed down the wrong sidewalk 100 feet beyond the building I needed to go to. Right there, I started cracking up at myself. It reminded me of this woman.
And then today, I noticed it wasn’t just a M problem. Once again, I found myself walking across campus to a meeting. Two students nearly ran into me because they were doing something on their smartphones. Clearly, there I was, in full view. They never saw me. I stepped off the sidewalk to let them pass. They had no idea that I did this.
And so I wondered, how often are we all too busy, too distracted, too hurried to miss seeing God’s face and his goodness all around us. How often are we too distracted to see that someone is hurting, lonely, and in need of encouragement?
I don’t know about you – but, I know that in my own life, when I am too distracted I end up in the wrong direction…and I miss out on the opportunity to really love others.
So what is that distractor for you? I think it is an us issue, not just a M issue.
So while I am praying for direction, for the Lord to make his path clear, I am making sure that I am running away from the distractors in my life.