Dear Lydia

Tonight, I am packing my bags to head to the country you now call home.  The next time I pack my bags in prep for a trip to Ch!n@, it will be to meet you and to bring you to the place B and I call home.

Even though I don’t know you, even though we haven’t received your referral, I am so excited to go to your birth country.  The idea that I will be in the same country as you is exciting and emotional.

When B and I decided to adopt from Ch!n@, for us, we knew that meant learning everything we could about your culture and heritage.  We want you to know that we are pursuing you.  In your life, you have endured more loss than any child should.  But we want you to know that you are wanted, you have been pursued, and you will be cherished.

Sadness on Mother’s Day

I don’t know how to respond when people tell me that I am strong.

I’ve been told by a lot of people that they send my blog to friends who are wrestling with infertility.  I don’t want to give people the impression that this journey we are on is easy.  Most days, I am at peace. Every day, I know that adoption is God’s plan for us.  But today, I am sad.

Today, my newsfeed on Facebook exploded with momma’s posting pictures of the gifts their kids gave them.  And even though I am so thankful that my friends are great moms and role models, I am just so sad that I am not yet a mom.

And, I am sad that there are so many kiddos who pray for a momma just as I pray for a child. That makes my heart ache.